Got chatting on the instant messaging service with a guy who has emailed me a couple of times. Thought this one might have potential. We had loads in common and he didn't reply in 1 word sentences.
It was all going well until he asked "the question". You know the one, "Can I ask you something?" My heart sank and I just knew what was coming. I was right. I replied that the color of my underwear was no concern of his and I would prefer if he did not contact me again.
The best thing on this site is the "block" button. It's probably the most used button as there seems to be a never ending supply of creeps who pretend to be nice guys.
Ok, so I have to look at this objectively. How do I weed out the losers and creeps from the general pool?
1. If they haven't been in a relationship or if their longest relationship was less than 5 years they are to be avoided like the plague. At our age why do they think they are suddenly capable of a long term relationship now?
2. No profile pic. If I can put up a picture why can't they? Unless of course they are hiding something - like a wife!
3. The "I don't like all this messaging stuff, let's meet up" guys. The whole point of the messaging is to find common ground and get to know each other a little bit. Build a bit of a friendship so if a meeting is arranged at least we will be able to talk. The "let's meet up" guys are usually only looking for sex. Their idea of a relationship is to text the next day and arrange the next sex session.
4. If they give you their phone number in the first or second contact and ask you to phone them. Pushy! Chill out guys. These guys may be ok - just might not be used to communicating with women but treat them with caution!
No doubt I will be adding to this list as I go on but that is the total wisdom picked up so far!
Gotta go and check my email........................
haha reading this as a 20 something it's pretty entertaining, so kudos for that at least, nice to see the other gender still gets it easy dating wise at 40+
ReplyDeleteAt 20 ish I get no where near this much interest on dating websites, I wouldn't consider myself unattractive and I've sustained numerous different relationships for long periods of time but bleh less about that, to the point of my comment:
Whilst you're waiting for the 'happy ending' you're letting your life pass you by, why not engage one of these "let's meet up" guys
At the best you'll find a partner at the worst you'll have a funny story of how it all went wrong.
Speaking as a guy I can assure you it's insanely difficult to come across as the perfect guy on-line girls are looking at so many different cues, you can't catch them off guard or "sweep them of their feet" as I'm sure so many of these girls want, the medium doesn't allow for it.
The only way I find I can truly engage women on dating websites is to introduce elements of danger, ask them negatively charged questions like "just how crazy are you?" and then carefully link that in to sexual restraints
but the thing is to write in persuasive and seductive way you need to be intelligent to thoroughly think through your approach which generally means you aren't that person you're conveying.
The men that are dangerous and interesting don't usually have the means to convey that through text, nor are they probably on dating sites; but sitting at home flipping through all these "applicants" with a big red pen isn't going to do much to find this mythical "happily after".
To summarise: stop looking through the CVs and conduct interviews
Then post :D