Where do I go from here?

Got an email from guy who made the strange mewling noises when he kissed me. He can't remember my name because he "has dated so many women" but he remembers kissing me. Charming! I remember him kissing me too! Shudder shudder!!! He wants to meet me again - for a night of passion! OMG!!

I won't waste my time replying to that!

Got several emails from guys with no pic even though it clearly says in my profile that I will not reply to anyone without one! They all say they have a good reason for not putting a pic up. A wife by any chance?

I'm learning fast.

Beginning to realize that men on the site treat it like a cattle market. They have plenty of choice so why stick with one woman? If they are not instantly attracted they do not give a relationship a chance, they simply move on. Even the ones who say they are serious about finding someone.

I decided to do a little research. I checked out other women's profiles. Loads of cleavage and open invitations to have some fun. Are they all desperate or what? It's no wonder the men are all looking for sex rather than a relationship.

There must be some genuine men out there. I'll keep looking but I won't hold my breath.....

Losing The Will

This online dating thing just gets harder and harder. I thought the whole idea was to make it easier to meet people!

I met a nice guy and we got on really well. Chatted for an hour and he asked me to keep in touch. I should  have realized! The kiss of death! Keep in touch. Man talk for "bye, I'll never see you again".

I sent him a quick message saying I had enjoyed our chat and would like to meet again. He didn't reply for over 12 hours and I knew he got the message as soon as I sent it. I also saw that he was chatting to someone else but didn't notice this until after I had sent the message. Damn!

Finally got a reply saying he had enjoyed the chat too and wishing me the best of luck for the future.

Oh well, back to the drawing board..........

Potential?

Got chatting to a guy last night. He emailed me first then asked to go on chat. I accepted because he seemed nice.

We had a good laugh and we seem to have stuff in common. I'm looking forward to chatting with him again tonight if he's around. He says he'll be on the site but knowing my luck and with the way things have been going.....

Got 2 new emails. One had a subject line "hello ladies" and the other was simply "hi". I opened the "hello ladies" first. It was from a guy who was genuinely seeking a long term relationship. He said he would reply to all emails.

First problem: "hello ladies" ???? How many of me are there? It was obviously sent as a group email blasted out to everyone who met his criteria - female!

Second problem: "genuinely seeking a long term relationship", hmmm.... not sure if I'll fall for that one again!

Third problem: I checked his profile. He's 43 and never been in a relationship. Wow! What a catch! Not!

Ok, next.

Opened the other email. A brief hello, how are you and then a short bit about himself, followed by an invitation for me to tell him a bit about myself. Now that's more like it.

I sent a reply back and managed to delete the bit about all my former fellas before I hit send. No need for him to know that I've been around the block a few (?) times. Kept it cheerful and brief - former fellas definitely do not fit into either category!

He was offline so hopefully I should have a nice surprise waiting for me in my inbox this evening.

Wish me luck. Off to check it now......

After the Date

Well, I got a brief message from "my date". He wants to stay in touch and says he liked meeting me - the kiss of death in dating terms. I'll probably never hear from him again. No mention of meeting again so from that I can safely surmise he doesn't want to!

Got 2 new emails in the last few days. Both guys wanted to meet. My instincts tell me this is not good. No chit chat, no sharing of info. The general excuse seems to be that they can't be doing with all this messaging and would rather meet face to face. I thought the whole point of the messaging was to explore safely and see if there was any common ground before deciding to meet.

Beginning to think that most of the men on the site want sex and nothing else. Their idea of long term is to stay all night! They don't seem to be able to grasp the idea that a relationship is about 2 people relating ie. communicating and sharing.

I'm learning a lot from this online dating thing. I don't think I'll ever take what a man tells me at face value ever again........

Day 8

All quiet today. No emails, no chat. A few guys viewed my profile but haven't contacted me.

I think it's time to change my profile pic. Got a nice pic from the other night when I was out with the girls. Little bit of editing and it should be good to go!

Ok, new pic uploaded, now it's time to wait and see if this makes a difference. Maybe I should clear out my email inbox in preparation for all the new emails!

Checked out a few profiles but didn't find anyone I really wanted to get to know. The only ones vaguely interesting live hundreds of miles away and I have no intention of spending most of my free time commuting to dates.

Let's see what tomorrow brings......

Day 7

Well, no reply from the "nice guy". No surprises there then! Why do the nice ones have so much baggage? They accuse us of having loads of problems but they don't consider their own behavior. It's all part of the learning curve I suppose.

Got chatting to another guy. He wants to meet up in a few week's time because he'll be free then! Not sure what that means. I'll have to do a bit of digging and ask lots of questions. I wonder what kind of baggage he's carrying around.

I'm starting to get very cynical about these men. Maybe one will come along and renew my faith in human nature. Good luck with that!

Ok, so it's back to the drawing board! Next!

Day 6

No reply yet from the "nice guy". He's been online but hasn't replied. Not looking good! Have to wait and see.

Got 2 new emails. One guy looking for a quickie and the other simply saying "hi". Ignored the first and replied to the second. Not sure if this guy is shy or just hasn't got any communication skills! Maybe he just doesn't like giving away too much about himself! No fear of that!

Got email from site support asking me if I want to upgrade to a premium account. Very tempted to reply asking if they want to upgrade the men on their site first! The only extras they seem to be offering are an extra page where I can see if guys I've said I'd like to meet want to meet me too and the words "premium member" to be included in my profile.

Apparently, each time a guy clicks on the wants to meet me button I'll get an email notification anyway and I don't really need "premium member" on my profile. I guess the answer to upgrading is "no" then!

Time to go back to waiting ........

Day 4

Still no pic from the guy, but another message. He wants to meet me. I replied asking him for the pic first. Have to play this one by ear I guess.

Got message from a guy who wants to know if he can move in with me and make me happy! I replied that no he can not move in with me and I make myself happy. His reply to this was a list of the ways - mostly sexual- that he could make me happy. Hit block button! That put an end to his little fantasies!

Oh well, 4 days into this and at least I've made contact with a few men. No positive results yet but I'll just have to be patient. No replies from the guys I emailed so can only assume they are not interested.

Why does this seem to be getting harder rather than easier! Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Day 3

Got chatting to a guy! Seems nice. No pic though. I've asked him to send me a recent photo but haven't heard from him yet. He wants to meet me but I think I'll wait and try to get to know him a little bit first.

2 more emails from guys just saying hello. Things are looking up! One guy is older than I was looking for but the other one looks ok. I'll answer both just to be polite. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Reply to emails and then back to waiting .........

Day 2

Another message! A marriage proposal! I'm on a roll!

So, some guy in South Africa wants to marry me so that he can come and live here. Very romantic! Not! This guy must be desperate. He hasn't even bothered to start a conversation with me. Just launched straight in. He must think I'M desperate!

Good God man, I signed up to make friends with the possibility of future romance not because I couldn't bear to be alone!

This dating thing is more difficult than I imagined. Where's the romance, the thrill, the tentative hope?

Another message. Someone has viewed my profile! Am I supposed to send him a message or what? Better not, he hasn't bothered to message me so he probably doesn't like what he sees.

Time to do a search and see who is out there. Maybe my one true love is waiting for me and I haven't even looked for him! Search criteria? Male, aged between 43 and 50, over 5'6" tall, not married. Hit submit. 942 possibilities!

Forgot to add in area details in the search. So, same criteria plus lives within 50 miles of me. Hit submit. 11 possibilities. Ok, well, let's give it a go.

First guy looks like he's in his early nineties. 1 down 10 to go. Next. This is more promising. Not bad looking, similar interests. Ah, not looking for a relationship. 9 to go. Next three guys have nothing in common with me and sound a bit freaky! Ok, 6 to go. This one seems alright. I'll keep him in mind. Next one wants kids, that's me out then. Pity, he was kind of cute. Next 2 are definitely maybes and the last one is a big no no (seems to want woman to provide for his every need and in return he will take her with him to the pub!).

Right! 3 possibilities. What happens now? If I message them, will I seem desperate? If I message them and they do not reply will I be able to handle it? If I message them and they do reply, what do I do then?

Aaaaaahhhh! Too many questions!!!! Perhaps I should just do what I'm best at!

Wait ..................

Taking the Plunge

Being single for three years, the wrong side of 40 and with an attitude of positivity, I decided to enter the world of online dating.

Weary of being hit on by every married man within a 5 mile radius and looked on with suspicion by their wives, I decided it was time to find my true love.

First stop, find a suitable dating site.

After much searching I found the ideal site. Ok, so far so good. Describe myself in glowing terms -gsoh,  enjoy socializing, easy going. Define what I want from the whole experience - long term relationship. Add other details such as hobbies and interests, age, ideal first date etc etc. Upload picture. Aah, first problem. Current photos make me look 45. Not good. I know I AM 45 but the whole world doesn't need to see this!

Dilemma! Should I use those gorgeous pics taken 5 years ago or grit my teeth and go for the old hag look?

After much soul searching (and a couple of glasses of wine) the old hag look won. Honesty is always the best policy - well, it'll save me the embarrassment of the looks of horror on my dates faces when they see the real me.

Hit submit.

Ok, profile live. Nothing to do but wait........

Over 40, over the hill?

You are entering the twilight zone of dating for the over 40s - a surreal world of adventure, excitement, disappointments and unfulfilled dreams.

Not for the faint hearted!